Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Cycle Day 3 Test

April 29th - Go to RE for b/w and u/s. U/S shows 12 resting follicles! Note, that this is not the, ahem, type of ultrasound they do on big pregnant bellies. Glad I was forewarned.

FSH comes back at 8. EIGHT. E I G H T!!! While this is still a bit high, it ain't 65 or even 14.4!!! This is awesome news to us.

AMH is 1.6, which is borderline to poor. They'd like it to be 3. Estrogen is excellent. My Karyotype comes back normal. Sweet, I spent $1000 for them to tell me that I am chromosomally (is that a word??) a normal female. Sheesh, was there a doubt???

Have to redo Fragile X, as my blood sample was frozen by accident.

Will take Clomid 100mg, Days 5-9 for the Clomid Challenge.

I am feeling slightly better now that my FSH is lower. I have told a few people at this point about what is going on. I am ultra sensitive about babies, pregnancy, etc. Seeing as my closest friend is 7 months preggers, it's hard.

I went to a baby shower recently and was quite frustrated and angry with a girl, just 19 weeks preggers and is bitching about how big her butt is getting. How tired she is and all the other miserable aches.

WTF. I would give anything for these discomforts and she is complaining about them? I'd like to slap her now.

A History - Part II

April 5th - Tell my parents we need to sit down and have a 'crucial converstation'. DH and I tell them everything. Lots of tears, lots of questions and love. It's very difficult to tell these things to a parent ... this isn't something you generally talk about to your parents. They dont want to know about their child having ... sex!



April 8th - DH and I go to see the RE at Conceptions. They do some b/w.

Dr tells us he can't really go off my current b/w results. The tests weren't done on the right days and my second FSH doesn't count as I was on Clomid. He isn't afraid of treating POF or high FSH. In fact he gives lecture/seminars on POF and high FSH.



We like him and feel he knows his stuff. He doesn't give us any false hope and seems confident on finding a plan for us.



He tells us to just relax and basically do nothing until the beginning of my next cycle. I still hold out hope that April will treat us well and we might conceive naturally (ok with a little help from Clomid).



April 19th - Told I am ovulating and prime for 'implantation' haha.



April 26th - My 29th Birthday. Have had some spotting and assume that this isn't good. Have a great Birthday anyway.



April 27th - Get AF. Damn.

Monday, April 28, 2008

A History

I can't believe that I have started a blog about this - the fact that we are going through this is still something I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around.

When we started trying a year ago, I went to my Family DR for a check up. Everything has been normal for me, normal periods, normal cycle, nothing out of the ordinary. EVER. Pap's always fine, never had painful menstrual cycles, etc. I have an LH surge every month ...

I assume everything is just peachy. Apparently, I was wrong.

I am now 28 years old.

March 27, 2008, I go to my new OB/GYN Nurse for another check up, as it's now been a year. She does some normal b/w testing my complete blood count, FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), Prolactin and TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone). This is all done on Day 27. Will start taking 50mg Clomid and Progesterone.

I leave feeling fine, not worried about it, just assume this is all going to be fine.

April 2 - Nurse calls me at work and tells me the news. My TSH is good, at 2. Prolactin is fine at 13.3 and blood count is fine. My FSH on the other hand is 65. She tells me this really isn't good. Holy shit, what is this I am hearing? She goes on to tell me 'Its like you are going through menopause'. HUH?? Then continues to talk about Donor Egg (DE) options and Premature Ovarian Failure.

I cannot believe I am sitting in the bathroom at work hearing this. Damnit too, I am wearing my favorite shirt and now will never be able to wear it again without thinking about this horrible news.

She tells me that she cannot help me and I need to see a Reproductive Endocronologist (RE).

I am in complete shock. I quickly leave work and call the Dear Husband (DH). I tell him and I hear panic and utter worry in his voice.

I completely and utter lose it.

I call CCRM and Conceptions (in Denver). I get appointments with both and Conceptions is first. I spend the entire next week researching POF, high FSH, etc.

April 2nd continued - DH and I go back to the OB/GYN for more bloodwork and now on day 7. FSH comes back at 14.4 and Estridol at 160 and Inhibitor is within normal range.

Still a complete wreck and now have my parents visiting for a week. We haven't told them we were trying or anything else... how the hell do I handle this??