A History

I can't believe that I have started a blog about this - the fact that we are going through this is still something I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around.

When we started trying a year ago, I went to my Family DR for a check up. Everything has been normal for me, normal periods, normal cycle, nothing out of the ordinary. EVER. Pap's always fine, never had painful menstrual cycles, etc. I have an LH surge every month ...

I assume everything is just peachy. Apparently, I was wrong.

I am now 28 years old.

March 27, 2008, I go to my new OB/GYN Nurse for another check up, as it's now been a year. She does some normal b/w testing my complete blood count, FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), Prolactin and TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone). This is all done on Day 27. Will start taking 50mg Clomid and Progesterone.

I leave feeling fine, not worried about it, just assume this is all going to be fine.

April 2 - Nurse calls me at work and tells me the news. My TSH is good, at 2. Prolactin is fine at 13.3 and blood count is fine. My FSH on the other hand is 65. She tells me this really isn't good. Holy shit, what is this I am hearing? She goes on to tell me 'Its like you are going through menopause'. HUH?? Then continues to talk about Donor Egg (DE) options and Premature Ovarian Failure.

I cannot believe I am sitting in the bathroom at work hearing this. Damnit too, I am wearing my favorite shirt and now will never be able to wear it again without thinking about this horrible news.

She tells me that she cannot help me and I need to see a Reproductive Endocronologist (RE).

I am in complete shock. I quickly leave work and call the Dear Husband (DH). I tell him and I hear panic and utter worry in his voice.

I completely and utter lose it.

I call CCRM and Conceptions (in Denver). I get appointments with both and Conceptions is first. I spend the entire next week researching POF, high FSH, etc.

April 2nd continued - DH and I go back to the OB/GYN for more bloodwork and now on day 7. FSH comes back at 14.4 and Estridol at 160 and Inhibitor is within normal range.

Still a complete wreck and now have my parents visiting for a week. We haven't told them we were trying or anything else... how the hell do I handle this??